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  • Writer's pictureBridgett Adair

-The Way She Moves-

I’ve been looking for an outlet for my more sacred and salacious thoughts, so I thought I might start a little blog. I may not post here often, but what I do post, will likely be a few ephemeral musings on the state of life, love, and this wild little world we inhabit.

**Note: For the sake of simplicity and accurate quotations, the words “Men/Male” refer to the Masculine energy, and “Woman/Charmeuse/Companion” refer to the Feminine energy with the understanding that the energy one carries may or may not have anything to do with one’s biological sexual orientation.

This first post is an ode to the dear clients who find their way into a charmeuse’s care but become lost in anxiety or worry somewhere along the way. It happens to us all: at one time or another, we think we know what we want or need most of all, only to find that often reality subverts expectation, leading to anxiety, disappointment, or despair. One possible explanation for this thwarted expectation could be due to the fact that the etiquette in the courtesan world is often unfamiliar. According to ‘Relationship Rules Theory’, the longevity and success of any relationship (e.g., family, platonic friends, romantic partners, and workplace relationships) is dependent upon whether an understood set of societal rules are followed. Thus, relationships are often weakened or may sometimes end entirely if these rules are not complied with.

Under this theory, workplace and romantic relationships are some of the most complicated due to the many layers of conflicting rules that can be found within these relationships. These rules can come in the form of expectations from your partner, family, society, and your boss, colleagues, or internal systems like HR within a company. In a world such as ours, which combines both a romantic and a workplace or transactional element, the rules can be even more amiss if we do not take the time to construct those boundaries and expectations ourselves. This realm also has the ability to show us that ideas, and people, can be so much more than what they appear, by creating relationships surrounding enhanced passions, visuals, and energies. This little bit of understanding can cause a rational person to want to reconsider what it is they are perceiving in their mind and wonder if it is even available in the tangible reality -- like peering through a looking glass into another world at times. Despite these challenges, an enduring companionship between you and your cherished charmeuse is possible, and that fantastic reality behind the looking glass may even be able to affect your tangible reality in a beautiful sort of way.

What I have noticed in my 5+ years as a career companion, is that femmes, coquettes, and courtesans such as myself tend to be highly emotional, intuitive, and cerebral creatures as exhibited throughout history and media in both some of the best and worst ways. I also consider the masculine energy in men to create very grounded, stable, logical, and rational creatures. This is to why I believe the masculine and feminine energies throughout the ages - even in queer communities - have gravitated towards each other. In tantric teachings they say, “She is his manifestation; He is her consolidation” – ‘his’ dream, and ‘her’ structure. In the modern age of capitalism, it seems that the masculine aspects of men to create stability in a logical and progressive manner has manifested itself primarily as achieved through money. And women’s strength – our ability to categorize in our mind and create a space separate from the outside world when we are together for emotional holding; our ability to multitask and easily tend to all the mundane decision making, in conjunction with our fun, bubbly, and amenable approach to life – have not manifested themselves because they are so deeply rooted in the ethereal realm. This organized separation, sustenance, and manifestation of these ideals, is what I and many other companions offer as a service that inherently includes truth, connection, and authenticity intertwined into these times.

While I can speak broadly to the vivacious freedoms, emotional holding and sexual support cocottes like myself (and women as a whole) offer to the men in this world, I’d like to recommend the writings of a San Francisco-based companion, Simone Solnsa, who has an eloquent piece discussing the rules and laws of transactional consent. You can find her complete blog post titled “So You Want to be Her Favorite Client: A Meditation on Consent” Here:

But let me allow you a little snippet:

“The transaction creates a bubble for us, a place we can romp around and be liberated from the normative social constructs we are beholden to in other places of our lives. The social contract we make together is often expansive, inclusive, and compassionate toward our more repressed desires. And just like BDSM and kink need rules in order to defy the norm, so do even the most vanilla situations with a companion.”

So, when you, as our beloved client, provide that transaction: that stability, that 'bubble' for us as feminine spirits to be our whole beautiful and divine selves, we are both able to honor the union that is so organic to our nature, and really let the chemistry flow to allow the blossoming of something beautiful between us.

And I suppose here's the salacious part - I believe this to extend to our personal romantic relationships as well as the transactional ones set within this sex working realm. Perhaps it's just me, but I believe if you provide a woman with the stability both monetarily and emotionally in the way that she craves, she will absolutely fly for you and lift you up further than you ever imagined. But feel free to debate me on that - I'd love to hear your ideas ;-)

For a few of my personal ideals and guidelines to be able to relax into our time together, visit my etiquette page [HERE] before sifting through a few of the bespoke date ideas I’ve listed [HERE] x


B. Adair

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